Love comes first

Most of what I know about relationships, I learned in my singleness

I have a problem with most people who are in relationships. They are settling with being average, but they want the other person to be above average for them. I guess this is what I mean. I dont think any guitarist wants to just be average. They don’t want to write average songs and settle with being average all their life. I would say that most guitarists want to be the best that they can possibly be. They learn new songs and chords. They practice. If they really love playing, they put their heart into it. The same can be said for athletes, writers, and, boyfriends/girlfriends.

I think that if you really want to be a good boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife, you start learning how to be while you are single. You practice. What does that mean? Well, what does it mean to be a spouse? It means you love that person. You serve that person whole heartedly. You take care of them. You minister to them. So how do you practice that? Get involved in a ministry at church, start caring for your friends and ministering to those around you. You love people.

Eventually, when I am in a relationship and when I’m married someday, I dont want to be an average husband. I want to be the best that I can possibly be. I want my future wife to think I am the best husband in the world. The bible tells us to love our wives just as Jesus loved the church, and gave up everything for her. I want to be able to be that husband someday. Until that time comes, I am going to practice my servitude and loving people and learning about biblical relationships now, in my singleness, so that someday in my unity with another, I will be ready to be all that I am called to be for her. 

Ephesians 4:32 Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you

Alright, real talk. I screwed up. I over reacted over something that should have never went down. We both messed up in certain ways, but I admit fully that I am the one who let it explode. We let it all out tonight, let everything go, and in the end, we realized that its only by grace and mercy that we have been forgiven, and so why hold on to any bitterness amongst ourselves?

It’s interesting. My faith has been a struggle lately. I’m done wearing a mask and pretending I’m okay. I’m not okay. This is me being real. Life sucks right now. And to be honest, this conflict that we’d been having was not helping. But, here is the interesting part. The one who I had the conflict with is also the one who gave me the most solid form of encouragement tonight. And here is what it is. Sometimes, to find our calling in life or in ministry, it is trial and error. We try something. It works or it doesn’t. You move on. But you never give up. Seasons change. One minute your in the midst of spring and life is peachy, next thing you know your boarding up because it’s hurricane season. But no matter what, you always remember that a storm wont last forever, and before you know it you will see clear skies again. You don’t know when. but you keep your faith in the one who delivers you through the hard times and into the clear weather.

I don’t know where anyone who reads this post is at in life. Honestly, I don’t know where I am in my life. But if you remain strong with the strength that has been given to you through grace, and you remember the times of clarity that God has given you, than you can also cling to and trust that God is bringing you through the unclear times and into something incredible. I am broken. I am hurting. I don’t even know who I am anymore. I am desperate. I need Jesus.

I saw a shirt this morning while I was at the gym that read “Nobody trains to lose.”

my spiritual life hasnt been going to great these last few weeks. I’ve been putting on a fake smile, and these last few days, I havent even tried to put up a front. I’m not happy with where my life is at, and I’ve been blaming God for that. Then i saw that shirt, and I started thinking a few things over.

I know the bible. I know all these biblical truths about how God’s love is unfailing, and that He will never leave or forsake us. So why, through all of this, do I feel like God has abandoned me? I know he hasnt. I know he won’t. But I feel like he has. I’ve been feeling very alone. It’s something I can’t really explain.

I need God to move in me. I want to trust Him. But I’m struggling. Please pray for me fam.

God uses people for seasons

So, I’ve been in the praise team at church for probably close to 2 years, and for the last several months I could feel God calling me away from the team. This past Wednesday was my last time playing guitar for the band. I will still be helping out on the tech team, but only once or twice a month as opposed to almost every week like before. When it came down to it, I stepped away for 2 big reasons. Number 1, I just don’t feel called, and when it started feeling more like work and not something I could enjoy anymore, well, there was no point in beating a dead horse. It was time to walk away. Number 2, I wanted to put more time, effort, and energy into the youth band, which is where i feel called to work more.

Now, that came at a very interesting time, because just as I quit praise team to take up more responsibility with the youth band, I was asked last night to hand off responsibility to the youth more. Which I agree is something that needs to happen. One of the points of this ministry is to raise up future worship leaders, and I think God has used me to do that. And I’m very thankful for that. There are several youth students in the band that are more than capable to lead the ministry, and I’m excited to be there to help in any way that I can.

It’s interesting that I stepped down from one ministry where my musical gifts, though limited, were being used, and then 6 days later I was asked to take a step down from another. What just happened? I’m not too sure just yet, but I know that God is going to do something very awesome with this, and I cant wait to see where this goes!

If I could ask for a few prayer requests, right now I’m unsure with what God wants me to do, and so if I could ask you to pray for guidance, that would be fantastic. I also would like to ask you to pray that God would raise up these future leaders to be bold enough to step up to the plate and lead this ministry. Thanks guys 

Man. what an awesome weekend! Thank you so much to everyone who made it extra special. I love this youth group. We is family!

Real Marriage

I have been reading Real Marriage by Mark Driscoll and his wife, Grace, and honestly, so far it is one of the better books I’ve read on dating, marriage, relationships, friendships, etc, that I’ve read. I felt inclined to share what I’m reading with you, and maybe move you to buy the book yourself, or at least borrow from someone else. This is not just a blog for the married, but for anyone who has thoughts of someday getting married or anyone who wants to be a better friend.

Chapter 1 is mostly about testimonies from Mark and Grace, and has changed my view on Driscoll for the better.
Rev. 21:5 Behold, I make all things new

Repentance keeps shame from condemning us because Jesus died and scorned the shame (Hebrews 12:2)

Chapter 2
Song of Songs 5:16 
“This is my beloved
And this is my friend”

The greatest gift of grace a man can have is a pious, God-fearing, home-loving wife, whom he can trust with all his goods, body, and life itself, as well as having her as the mother of his children” -Martin Luther
 
Marriage is all about friendship.
F.R.I.E.N.D.S

Fruitful
“Marriage is more than your love for each other. It has a higher dignity and power, for it is Gods holy ordinance, through which he wills to perpetuate the human race till the end of time. In your love you see only your two selves in the world, but in marriage you are a link in the chain of generations, which God causes to come and pass away to his glory, and calls into his kingdom. In your love, you see only the heaven of your own happiness, but in your marriage you are placed at a post of responsibility toward the world and mankind. Your love is your own private possession, but marriage is more than something personal- it is a status, an office. Just as it is the crown, and not merely the will to rule, that makes the king, so it is marriage , and not merely you love for each other, that joins you together in the sight of God and man.” -Dietrich Bonhoeffer

Proverbs 20:18 Plans are established by counsel, by wise guidance wage war.
Proverbs 13:20 He who walks with wise men will be wise, but the companion of fools will be destroyed.

Reciprocal
 Don’t follow your heart. Guard your heart. Our heart is prone to selfishness and sin.

Love does not come from our hearts, but rather, through our hearts. This is because God is love, and in relationship with God through Jesus by the Holy Spirit we receive Gods love to share with others.
Love is a verb. It is what compels us to do good for those we care about. 

Intimate
Love must be personal. You can not have a lasting marriage by being back to back with each other, having totally given up on intimacy, or side by side just working with each other, but face to face in deep conversation.

Enjoyable
Ecclesiastes 9:7-9 Live joyfully with the wife whom you love all the days of your vain life which he has given you under the sun, all the days of your vanity, for that is your portion in life, and in the labor you perform under the sun.

Needed
In the beginning, there was God. God created man (Gen 1:26-27).
Man should not be alone (Gen 2:18)
God created woman by taking a rib from Adams side. Perhaps this is because woman is meant to be mans intimate equal.

Devoted
A devoted friend is dependable through varying seasons of life
Ecclesiastes 3:4

Sanctifying
Husbands and wives need to understand that they are married to a weak, frail, flawed sinner who needs help and endurance. Our job for each other is to work side by side in helping each other grow more into the image of Christ, together.